What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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What are the common formulas for improvising ornaments in bel canto singing?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Make Nazis afraid again!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why are white women dating more black guys than ever?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Is using an ambulance really free in countries with universal healthcare, or are there hidden costs like deductibles that people should know about?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why am I sweating so much when I try to do anything?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Do you think some men have sex with prostitutes because they're too afraid to talk to women? Money does the talking for them.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

My boyfriend has a major problem/addiction with watching porn, nude/sex scenes on movies and shows, watching hot young girls on tiktok, Instagram, Twitter, and onlyfans. He hides it and lies about it. Should I be concerned with him cheating? What do?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What is something you want to "get off your chest"?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why am I tired all the time?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.